This past Sunday was Audrey's dedication at church. Michael's parents flew in from California to celebrate with us and we were overjoyed to have them for the entire weekend. Audrey did great on Sunday morning - kept staring at Dr. Jeffress, tried to grab his Bible and even contributed a few of her own "comments" before it was all said and done. Michael and I were "charged" to raise her in the ways of the Lord and although the actually dedication process only lasted a few minutes in and of itself, the reality of what it represents is something that has invaded my thoughts since before Audrey was ever born. As a Christian parent there is no great responsibility than to raise our child(ren) in the ways of the Lord. Knowing that is the easy part - living it out is what makes me timid and humble.
The past six months have flown by and I can already look back and imagine how I could have handled things better. Mostly, I think about how I could have prayed more ... more for her, more for Michael, more for me, more for our family. Michael and I are both incredibly blessed to have parents who have honestly and earnestly prayed for us throughout our entire lives - in the valleys and on the mountain tops, in the wee hours of the morning and during late night phone calls. It is a legacy that I am striving to pass on.
It is hard for me to imagine what the future holds - one day she will be too big to rock to sleep and to indepenent to be carried in my arms; she will be strong enough to walk up and down stairs on her own and vocal enough to tell me exactly what is on her heart; she will be able to tell me "I love you" and she will also be able to tell me when I have hurt or disappointed her; she will be able to laugh and I will have to comfort her as she cries; she will make precious friends and she will be hurt by some along the way; she will go to Kindergarten and in just a blink of an eye we will drop her off in her college dorm room; she will have a teenage crush and then one day fall in love; she will have her heart broken and prayerfully one day meet a man who will treasure every single thing about her; she will have her own children and before I know it I will be attending the dedication of her first child.
As fun and exciting as many of those memories/events sound, I would be lying if I did not admit that it is a bit intimidating. It is my heart's desire to lead her in the ways of the Lord, to teach her the things of the Lord and to watch her grow to love the Lord. Prayer, I am learning, is a key ingredient.
Amidst it all - I am reminded that she is not my own. This amazing experience of being a parent is only temporary and it is our responsibility to equip her for the eternal. Michael and I are simply caretakers, trying to do the best that we can and depending on the Lord to help us every step of the way. We had a very small medical scare a few weeks back and it was a good way for God to get my attention. It was a reminder that this precious little girl belongs to the Lord ... she is not mine. I look forward to all that is ahead - and pray that I am faithful to raise her in the ways of the Lord.
Thankfully, I am not on this journey alone. God has blessed me with a husband who desires the exact same things and who does an amazing job of leading our family. We also have a loving support system of family and friends ... some of whom were able to join us this past Sunday. Thanks to everyone who came out to support us as we begin this parenting venture (and to all of those who wanted to be there but couldn't).
(My dad was there too but somehow manged to escape the camera.)
-av-
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